does this feel aggressive to you

IT JUST CAN’T BE TIME FOR AARP ADS YET

just what the people have been craving

whoever makes candy is insane

Rita P.

just love these little notes

chic

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, right, at the Met Gala 2019. Photo by Karsten Moran for the New York Times.

real talk from the marfa dairy queen

the view, the breeze, the pulse

Relax by Ellen Bass

Bad things are going to happen.

Your tomatoes will grow a fungus

and your cat will get run over.

Someone will leave the bag with the ice cream

melting in the car and throw

your blue cashmere sweater in the drier.

Your husband will sleep

with a girl your daughter’s age, her breasts spilling

out of her blouse. Or your wife

will remember she’s a lesbian

and leave you for the woman next door. The other cat—

the one you never really liked—will contract a disease

that requires you to pry open its feverish mouth

every four hours. Your parents will die.

No matter how many vitamins you take,

how much Pilates, you’ll lose your keys,

your hair and your memory. If your daughter

doesn’t plug her heart

into every live socket she passes,

you’ll come home to find your son has emptied

the refrigerator, dragged it to the curb,

and called the used appliance store for a pick up—drug money.

There’s a Buddhist story of a woman chased by a tiger.

When she comes to a cliff, she sees a sturdy vine

and climbs half way down. But there’s also a tiger below.

And two mice—one white, one black—scurry out

and begin to gnaw at the vine. At this point

she notices a wild strawberry growing from a crevice.

She looks up, down, at the mice.

Then she eats the strawberry.

So here’s the view, the breeze, the pulse

in your throat. Your wallet will be stolen, you’ll get fat,

slip on the bathroom tiles of a foreign hotel

and crack your hip. You’ll be lonely.

Oh taste how sweet and tart

the red juice is, how the tiny seeds

crunch between your teeth.

 courtesy of emily

latest

• my skin has decided to try adult acne, cool
• this was the most hilarious tweet series ever (courtesy of courtney) (“really imagine a nigga walking into your home screaming ‘brrrrrrrdot’ and asking your queen about Spain”)
• this interview with kathleen hanna is pretty dope, especially the part about the genesis of the song “hot topic”
• the semester is almost over? and now i’m second guessing myself and like maybe i should take summer school? but prob good to just take a second, since it’s been pretty brutal working full time and going to school. i’m basically lazy, you know? i mean, people dispute this, but i actually AM. so anyway, during this break, i’m going to make SO MANY desserts and watch so much shit
• i loved LA, we slept a lot and took uber a lot, the wedding was lovely, friends were lovely, i did the elliptical for 20 minutes *in* my hotel room and paid $28 at the airport for delicious juices and went to marisa tomei’s brother’s pizza place, and the two (other) tourist things we did were go to dan tana’s (are we suckers, it was kind of awesome? i mean, it felt like tony and tina’s wedding) and visit angel’s flight, 100% because of bosch, and i LOVED it

like liquid amber

oh what a story from anjelica huston:

You wrote in your memoir that you kissed Ryan O’Neal on his dining-room table for six hours. I was trying to picture it, and I concluded that this couldn’t factually be true.
Factually true.

But your back. What about your back?
I was young. My back was like liquid amber.

I’m trash and have turned into a trash monster

these are the things that remind us we’re human

from a great interview with disney heiress abigail disney:

In what ways did your dad change, other than having a jet?
Actually, having a jet is a really big deal. If I were queen of the world, I would pass a law against private jets, because they enable you to get around a certain reality. You don’t have to go through an airport terminal, you don’t have to interact, you don’t have to be patient, you don’t have to be uncomfortable. These are the things that remind us we’re human.