so i’m housesitting for the summer at my boss’s house. honestly i don’t love housesitting, but i need the money, and plus she has a pool, a garden, and cable, so it was like, dear self, don’t be a brat. the awkward part is that she has a housekeeper and a gardener who come almost every day, so no real privacy, but i’m pretending like i’m staying at a villa in italy.
anyway, the room i stay in has EXCELLENT natural light, a new thing for me. interesting fact: excellent natural light is not the blessing one would expect, especially when taking a bath and looking at the back of one’s legs for the first time in a few years.
my friend laris gave me some mantras the other night, with the advice “use the mantras and the world will be your bright star.” here they are:
Peeps be crazy.
Treat it like meditation, yo.
I’m not a computer.
Don’t stop.
Let’s make it real!
Let the cats out. (my addition — it’s a Buddhist idea? like…if you own cats, let them out? cuz the cats will come back if they want to? i.e., don’t worry about dem cats/that problem/anything?)
i think i’m gonna make some buttons for the best mantra. none of these are REALLY jazzing me, though “let the cats out” has…something.
today someone told me that i seemed depressed and world-weary. awesome. the worst part is that it’s probably true. lately i feel very tired and sluggish and heavy. and like i can never get enough sleep. and nothing really jazzes me. i think i kind of went through the wringer these past four months at work, and haven’t actually recovered. and can’t find my mojo. and feel worried all the time. even though i have a new awesome job on the horizon and an awesome boyfriend and amazing friends. though none of them live here. anyway. how does one recover one’s mojo? maybe by infusing myself with the spirit in this song? (TBD how.)
awesome interview with michael azerrad, who wrote our band could be your life, which chad gave me years ago, which makes me feel entwined with the book, the bands, the ethos.
Also, much of what the bands in this book did was to make very unconventional music that attracted unconventional people—or maybe even showed conventional people a different mode of thinking. Not necessarily because of anything in the lyrics, but just because of how challenging and unorthodox the music was.
I think a lot of indie bands now are similarly elevating and challenging people’s minds, just by the nature of the music they make. The Dirty Projectors are a great example, or Animal Collective. I really believe in the power of music—and I mean literally the power of musical tones—to rearrange the way you can think.
Which TV characters schooled you in acting? Laverne and Shirley was physical and broad, and I loved those characters. Law & Order’s Lieutenant Anita van Buren is a great example of a tough lady among men.
If you were physically incapacitated and could watch only one show for the rest of your life, what would it be? Law & Order. I panic that there will be a time when it isn’t on TV. When I’m not in New York it makes me miss New York. I think about all the people angry that their streets are being closed off [cackles]. And I feel like Jerry Orbach might be someone that I will get to meet in Heaven.
WHAT: CONVERSATION ABOUT THE FUTURE
WHEN: TODAY, 6:44 PM
me: so i had an idea! maybe you work one month in austin, then come back to marfa for chill bro time, then back to marfa and write songs and have fun. so you can make money but also have relaxing times! him: maybe. me: just a thought. him: i’m not sold on the one month on, one month off idea. me: ok, so maybe that’s not a great idea. but it’s a starter. boyfriend: yah, it’s brainstorming. me: exactly. you brainstorm. and you don’t always start with a great idea. no. sometimes the first ideas are TERRIBLE. it’s like you build a ledge — so you can jump off it and fly into the idea ETHER!!!!!!!! boyfriend: [silence] me: …or not? me: maybe…i’m too weird for you. boyfriend: maybe you’re too weird for me.
just heard tyler jon tyler on terre t’s show. so good. listen to it, for real. if you like rock music. in other news, i resisted having a thick rubbery case on my iphone for aesthetic reasons, and after dropping and cracking my old iphone twice (even with a case), i buckled and bought one of those otter cases for my new phone. and guess what — it’s kind of awesome! it makes me feel like i’m talking into a teva.
so like who even cares, i like ROCK MUSIC. it’s just the thing that i like. i downloaded two mixes — really good mixes — a country one and a blues one, really good, but after listening for an hour, i was like, ENUFF!!!!
