grinch communist

had grouch hangover this morning because ross was kind of a communist grinch about making a dog trucker hat prototype with me (“there’s already too much crap in the world”) (“i guess i would help you”) even though we had talked about it and been joking the night before. truthfully, my excitement wasn’t about the actual product (listen, i have ZERO ILLUSIONS about the junkiness of dog novelty items) (TOTAL LIE! secret fantasy is to make a billion dollars selling dog novelty items, DUH), but the idea of crafting one single dog trucker hat prototype, together, and the hilarity of placing said prototype on dog, and watching said dog wear — enjoy?! protect his eyes?! — said prototype? can it be beat? i guess it hurt my feelings that it was no longer, WHAT A HILARIOUS ADVENTURE WE COULD CRAFT TOGETHER and more like, YOU CAN DO IT BUT YOU WILL BE JUST CONTRIBUTING STRAIGHT JUNK TO THE UNIVERSE, ENJOY THAT. but let’s face it, is it just about the dog trucker hats. probably not. ross is going to this wedding at the end of august that i can’t afford to go to, where the bride’s sister is his old unrequited flame, no big deal but also jeez, not my dream sitch. and my sister’s wedding is two weeks after, in florida, and he suggested just going to my sister’s wedding directly from chicago, so staying there TWO WEEKS, even though i’ve already bought the tickets to florida from el paso, which means we’d have to change them, and this el paso-to-panama-city flight is the first plane ride we’ll ever have taken together in 3.91 years and i was excited about it, but southwest is flexible and you CAN change it, so i guess if that’s what the human wants to do, that’s what he should do? and if the tables were turned and i was trying to finagle a way to stay in austin for two weeks, i wouldn’t want my babe to NOT want me to do that? but the point is just general stress. just wondering why the man wants to be out all the time and why do nice people always have to ask about us getting married and i’m like, HA HA NO NO AS IF, and what is going to happen to me with work and will i have to work at the railyards and will i ever get to marinate and just spread out and be my best relaxed self? so. some general worrying going on. woke up this morning with the worst clenched jaw, which can’t be good. even though i’m meditating and doing yoga every morning (i.e., past two mornings), still it doesn’t stop with the clenching. can you unclench an iron pipe?