“To do this practice, we have to give up hope. When I say to give up hope, I don’t mean to give up effort. I mean that we have to give up this idea in our heads that somehow, if we could only figure it out, there’s some way to have this perfect life that is just right for us. Life is the way it is. And only when we begin to give up those maneuvers does life begin to be more satisfactory.”
On how she sleeps: Full of guilt and anxiety! No, I try to create a calming atmosphere. I take melatonin, sometimes I’ll do some palo santo, but mostly I’ll just put on an episode of The Office or 30 Rock that I’ve seen 700 times so my brain can be tricked into not thinking about everything. At night, my brain starts going in a zillion different directions, so if I give it something familiar that it’s seen consistently for the past ten years, that is a very easy way to get me to fall asleep. Honestly, I love Succession, but they all talk so fast and they’re all so white that it’s put me to sleep a lot of times.
so tired but still have one (rather major) assignment to go. have to turn in via email and want to couch the assignment with some explanation of the weekend, but then feel like — whatever.
ross’s birthday today! had to work all day and now all night but he says it’s ok. celebration postponed until tuesday? friday?
trying to finish my reading but instead thinking about the best candy bars. my votes:
reese’s fast break (controversial, mostly peanut butter flavored nougat)
reese’s sticks
whatchamacalit
very tired, haven’t been sleeping great, but figured might as well get up and read about RDA (getting easier but still dense as hell) (tho gratefully it’s no walter benjamin). my therapist said something about how our culture thinks smartness is intuitively understanding something (which, yes), but smartness is also the ability to work at something and eventually (moderately?) understand it. taking comfort in that these days.
