again, in love
Posted: November 21st, 2019 | No Comments »
dr. fiona hill
(screenshot from impeachment hearings, via ny times)
the one who wants to love you, but often isn’t good at even that
Posted: November 17th, 2019 | No Comments »
(courtesy of poetry foundation)
discovered via the paris review’s poetry rx, my very best discovery of 2019 (calling it now), “readers write in with a specific emotion, and our resident poets—Sarah Kay, Kaveh Akbar, and Claire Schwartz—take turns prescribing the perfect poems to match.” OH. some words about “wife”:
I think a lot about how hard it is for people to see each other. How very often when we look at someone, even someone we love, what we are actually seeing is our memories of them, or our projections upon them, or our expectations, or what they represent, or so many other things, but not quite them.
couldn’t sleep
Posted: November 17th, 2019 | No Comments »woke up at 4am and got up because my heart was racing and none of my sleep meditations could soothe me. been having terrible social anxiety lately, which has put a strain on everything. ross and i have a fundamentally different perspective on marfa — he believes the success or failure of navigating it isn’t merely about personal preference for small towns or big, it’s whether you can truly be part of a community and embrace its weaknesses and strengths and live in that imperfection and ultimately see it as beautiful. i see his point, and i’ve really tried, and sometimes it works, when i just focus on work and studying, and limit my interactions to that. but then going out becomes more fraught and everyone asks ross where i am and i get this reputation as a hermit and an introvert, which i guess honestly is true these days, but it doesn’t feel like the “real” me (whatever that is), because i still love scrappy rock & roll and trying new things and exploring and having friends and being part of things. i think the problem is that i like to select my experiences instead of constantly field unchosen ones (at the store, at an event, at the PO, on the street, etc.), and for ross, that preference reads as something of a failure. and maybe it is. at any rate. clearly i need a poem for this.
everybody knows i’m a motherfucking monster
Posted: November 14th, 2019 | No Comments »LIFE IS A (GENTLE) MESS
mitch epstein
Posted: November 13th, 2019 | No Comments »
Mitch Epstein’s “Oak Bluffs, Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, 1980.”© Mitch Epstein/Black River Productions, Ltd. Courtesy of Steidl. Via T Magazine.
in love
Posted: November 13th, 2019 | No Comments »
William B. Taylor Jr.
(screenshot via the ny times)
facts
Posted: October 26th, 2019 | No Comments »- feeling pretty blue
- reminded just how deeply tom petty gets it (see here and here)
- seeing ads for amazon’s modern love makes me so ornery, “made for and by chumps”
- still have pink eye
- sometimes i wonder why the world has any people besides the “thrivers,” i.e., the people who have found a path and just nailed it/are nailing it. i think about this constantly. what is the point of all the bumblers or people who are just a little bit lost? i mean, if i were a “creator,” or whatever (if there’s such a thing), i’d just want folks who were on their shit. i mean what’s the point of all the others?
