{"id":10428,"date":"2015-12-03T20:22:41","date_gmt":"2015-12-03T20:22:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/?p=10428"},"modified":"2015-12-03T20:22:41","modified_gmt":"2015-12-03T20:22:41","slug":"i-want-to-flinch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/2015\/12\/03\/i-want-to-flinch\/","title":{"rendered":"i want to flinch"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>claire vaye watkins, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tinhouse.com\/blog\/41314\/on-pandering.html\" target=\"_blank\">&#8220;on pandering&#8221;<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>About a year ago I had a baby, and while my life was suddenly more intense, more frightening, more beautiful, more difficult, and more profound than it had ever been, I found myself with nothing to write about.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNothing\u2019s happening to me,\u201d I bemoan to Annie. \u201cI need to go shoot an elephant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Annie replies, in her late-night Lebowskian cadence, \u201cDude, you\u2019re a mother. You\u2019ve had a child. You\u2019re struggling to make your marriage work, man. You are trying, against your nature and circumstance, to be decent. That\u2019s your elephant!\u201d Yet when I write some version of this down it seems quaint or worse. I thought I had enough material for a novel but when it came out it was a short story, and one that felt unserious. I tried a story in the form of a postpartum-depression questionnaire and it felt quaint. Domestic. For women. Motherhood has softened me. I have a tighter valve on what I\u2019ll read and what I\u2019ll watch. I don\u2019t want to write like a man anymore. I don\u2019t want to be praised for being \u201cunflinching.\u201d I want to flinch. I want to be wide open.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>claire vaye watkins, &#8220;on pandering&#8221;: About a year ago I had a baby, and while my life was suddenly more intense, more frightening, more beautiful, more difficult, and more profound than it had ever been, I found myself with nothing to write about. \u201cNothing\u2019s happening to me,\u201d I bemoan to Annie. \u201cI need to go [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10428"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10433,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10428\/revisions\/10433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}