{"id":16285,"date":"2020-02-08T17:02:59","date_gmt":"2020-02-08T23:02:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/?p=16285"},"modified":"2020-02-08T17:03:03","modified_gmt":"2020-02-08T23:03:03","slug":"twenty-minutes-of-bedside-sitting-and-staring-into-space-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/2020\/02\/08\/twenty-minutes-of-bedside-sitting-and-staring-into-space-time\/","title":{"rendered":"twenty minutes of bedside-sitting-and-staring-into-space time"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>i love <a href=\"https:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/magazine\/2020\/02\/03\/hello-911\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">samantha irby<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em style=\"box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro,\" times new roman serif font-size: font-variant-caps: normal font-weight: letter-spacing: orphans: auto text-align: start text-indent: text-transform: none white-space: widows: word-spacing: rgba text-decoration:>Hello, 911? <\/em>It\u2019s eleven-thirty at night and I\u2019ve got an important meeting (LOL) tomorrow morning at nine-thirty. I set my alarm for eight. That should give me plenty of time, right? Google Maps says it\u2019s probably going to take seventeen minutes to get there from my hotel, barring any major traffic, but what if the Lyft driver is late? Alternatively, what if the doorman can\u2019t find a cab? I\u2019m planning to go down at nine. Does that leave enough time for me to get eggs from room service? But they run late sometimes, right? Should I risk it? It\u2019s midnight now and I think I\u2019ll be hungry in the morning, but what if I\u2019m not? Then I\u2019m stuck waiting for eggs I don\u2019t want. Maybe I should set my alarm for eight-thirty. I definitely want to sleep off this Xanax, but does that give me enough time to take an actual crevice-cleaning, hair-washing shower? Should I be honest about who I really am as a person and factor in twenty minutes of bedside-sitting-and-staring-into-space time? It\u2019s twelve-thirty, but to be safe I\u2019m going to set the alarm for seven-thirty. Should I attempt to impress these people with eye makeup, or do they not care because they are serious businesspersons? Let me just go ahead and set my phone for 6:55, so I have plenty of time to contour and blend (i.e., totally fuck it up and wipe it all off while crying). Since I\u2019m up, it wouldn\u2019t hurt to iron my pants, just in case I can\u2019t hide my legs under a table. Why does everyone want to \u201cmeet\u201d on couches these days? An electric chair would be more relaxing. Wait a minute\u2014it\u2019s already one o\u2019clock?!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>i love samantha irby: Hello, 911? It\u2019s eleven-thirty at night and I\u2019ve got an important meeting (LOL) tomorrow morning at nine-thirty. I set my alarm for eight. That should give me plenty of time, right? Google Maps says it\u2019s probably going to take seventeen minutes to get there from my hotel, barring any major traffic, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16285"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16287,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16285\/revisions\/16287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookbinderlocal455.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}