“the pilot” by joshua ferris

Posted: June 19th, 2010 | No Comments »

he was always focused on the wrong thing
at the wrong time. how easily muddled his mind could get. it spun
worst-case scenarios. it second-guessed people’s good intentions.
he doubted his worth on so many levels and so frequently missed the
point entirely. that was no way to


Posted: June 19th, 2010 | No Comments »

i’ve been eating like the world’s about to end. it’s really bad. i tried on this swimsuit last night, and it was like, ouch. and i bought this dress and it’s so cute but it looks like a toy dress on me. so i have to eat with more mindfulness. and cut out desserts for awhile. desserts and chips, both, OUT.

“desserts and chips, you’re very tasty…but…you’re fired.”


Posted: June 18th, 2010 | No Comments »

for some reason, realllllly psyched about it being friday. new things this week:

1. learned i kind of hate housesitting

2. on the upside of housesitting, plucked a real zucchini out of krista’s
garden! it’s sitting here at work with me.


Posted: June 15th, 2010 | No Comments »

great great great song. van morrison. unreleased. can’t
stop listening to it. you’ve
got the power

my dad and his doppelgangers

Posted: June 13th, 2010 | No Comments »

my dad visited this weekend. we decided that he looks like steven seagal and also the lead singer of the national, matt someone. check it out:

dad at christmas time

singing dad?

action dad?

failed experiment

Posted: June 13th, 2010 | No Comments »

i got this “awesome” idea recently to make a homemade “pay it forward” t-shirt. because that’s my new motto, etc., etc. i was REALLY excited about it. so much so that i went to the thrift store to get a shirt (DURING WORK?!), but i could only find a tight-fitting salmony-pink tee. i kinda knew it was a bad idea, but i bought it anyway.

but then i kept putting off the project, because every time i looked at the shirt, i was like, “that is not going to end well.”

and no surprise, it did not turn out well. like, see this picture? this is a GOOD picture of it. this is the BEST picture i could get of it. i now realize the writing should be kind of tiny or really huge and the shirt not salmon-colored and also not tight and also not anything like this picture.

so i will not be wearing this “pay it forward” t-shirt. i am going to pay it forward right to the trash can. and the trash can will pay it forward to the dump and the dump to mother earth and mother earth will be like, wait, this is not exactly how it works.


Posted: June 13th, 2010 | No Comments »

my parents and sister just left town, they were here for the weekend. we had a great great great time, and i felt a little weepy as they were leaving. what makes me sad anymore? people leaving. people getting older. fragility. failure. people doing sweet things. those are the things that get me choked up.

i had this blog post saved as a draft from june 2:

whoa whoa whoa, life is exploding. where’s the poetry for the moment when everything is going bananas and your heart is racing and your cheeks are warm and EVERYTHING IS EXPLODING? i’m not kidding. thrumming. i feel like everything in my life is converging.

that was only…1.5 weeks ago. i don’t feel like that anymore. instead i feel like an octopus with all my tentacles floating around me and my big (small) eyes getting weepy.

but exciting news for the mainstream short fiction new yorker nerds among us: i was just on the new yorker web site, trying to find this poem, and saw that the 20 under 40 issue of the new yorker is out.

this is water

Posted: June 8th, 2010 | No Comments »

from david foster wallace’s graduation speech at kenyon, 2005:

The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. That is being taught how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the “rat race”—the constant, gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.

I know that this stuff probably doesn’t sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational. What it is, so far as I can see, is the truth with a whole lot of rhetorical bullshit pared away. Obviously, you can think of it whatever you wish. But please don’t dismiss it as some finger-wagging Dr Laura sermon. None of this is about morality, or religion, or dogma, or big fancy questions of life after death. The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to thirty, or maybe even fifty, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about the real value of a real education, which has nothing to do with grades or degrees and everything to do with simple awareness—awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

“This is water.”

“This is water.”

“These Eskimos might be much more than they seem.”

meaner bigger devils

Posted: June 6th, 2010 | No Comments »

a while back, i wrote to emily about this guy, and she wrote back:

…he sounds like a lot of an assface (and a hypercritical, fictionalizing assface) but who am I to speak of such things? I’m deep in it with one of the very same! Are we all just mean little devils who think everyone else is a meaner bigger devil?

ARE we all mean little devils who think everyone else is a meaner bigger devil?


law & order

Posted: June 6th, 2010 | No Comments »

why was i on the law & order web site? i can’t remember. but i saw this clip and had to take a screenshot:

everything about this is perfect, by which i mean, just the caps for NOT.

writers of law & order: my compliments.