so i woke up yesterday and discovered this giant bruise on my elbow — hard to see exactly, but it was big, and i didn’t remember whacking it, so i thought perhaps it was a spider bite? cuz i’d been moving stuff out of this cobwebby room of the library and who knows, maybe? anyway, i was mildly alarmed by the idea of a spider bite because don’t you have to take antibiotics and spider poison can destroy tissue and etc. but since it was a saturday, no clinic was open, so i had to teledoc to get a professional opinion. teledoc called me and we talked and he told me i had to go to e/r (or an urgent care, but we don’t have those, since we live in the middle of nowhere). i was like 4 real? and he was like, yah cuz what if it’s a bacterial infection and there’s rotting flesh under there? me: [woozy] gulp ok. so we went and as soon as doc sees me, he’s like, oh yah, no, it’s fine, probably a spider bite, but there’s nothing we can do, come back if it gets worse. and also he made a joke about amputation. actually both he and the nurse did. i guess they’re trying to make it breezy, but i WAS NOT into it, it made me feel ashamed for being there. “we have to amputate hahahaha you idiot” — NO. so then we came home and basically i wasted six hours dealing with this NON thing and not writing my research paper and now it’s gonna be late and in summary never bother with doctors, the end.
i have the serious blues today and can’t stop hating on my grown ass face. looking at it and then hating it. grateful to have a face, but still feeling like — wow, age is no picnic face-wise. for those who age into saggy jowls. why do some have saggers, and some do not?
i’m so sorry, i can’t remember where i found it (instagram!!!!!), but i like thinking about gender this way. also great news, i found a patchouli laundry detergent, i hope everyone is ready for it. also this fascia yoga thing looks cool, will i try it tomorrow, who knows
this weather is so intense, and we’ve been SO LUCKY to have power this whole time, but i’ve been 100% worried about the library’s pipes exploding and today i volunteered to serve food at a warming center, since our grocery stores have been closed and what do you do if you have no power and no food and nowhere to buy it? anyway, it’s been a doozy and then there was a rumor today that everyone’s power was going to go off at 5pm and i realized on tuesday that i ordered the wrong textbook for school and there’s no way to get a copy in any kind of reasonable fashion and generally i have been blowing off all of my school work and today when the power didn’t go off at 5pm, i was like, THAT’S IT, i just have to CHILL and then ross came into my office:
ROSS: what are you doing in here? ME: [deer caught in headlights] ME: … ME: …blogging?
sometimes the truth is lame as hell. anyway, now i’m going to eat something and get in bed and not read for school and be so grateful for power and heat and music and friendship and some golden future when i can hippie dance to the grateful dead with dan.
heard this song on this playlist and it took me straight back to ninth grade when i saw this video on MTV (agéd) and i was like, WHAT IS THIS AND HOW DO I GET IT and then i became obsessed with the cowboy junkies, i went to see them alone (!) at age 15? and townes van zandt opened for them. and then i was chasing down music by townes, john prine, neil young, and the velvet underground, which was a blessing. now when i hear the cowboy junkies, they feel like old people music. they are old people music, right? but like, they always were? still — this song cracked so much open for me. gotta give a shoutout.
