the future

(image via mr. harris tweed)

so the tv show job didn’t work out. they hired me but then changed their minds two days later and offered me a different lowlier position and i was like, wait what? can you actually do that? which made me reevaluate why i was involved with the project again —  was it just money or was it taking me closer to some part of my [cloudy, nebulous] dream? it’s a cool project to be part of, and i was interested in learning a new field, having a challenge, seeing what it’s like, plus i like the tv show’s creator, but i was already fretting and worrying and was it getting me anywhere closer to my own thang? also weird way to start. so i said no. so now i have nothing on the dockets for months. forever, i guess. i think it’s ok. i want to buckle down and just focus on how to swim out to my own ship rather than always jumping on the nearest boat (YES) and gonna draw and focus and side hustle and research grad school and clean up my resume and try to find real jobs that stoke my fire [ew] and not just pay the bills. i just feel like i’m beyond all that. not ABOVE it: just beyond it. try for the real thing. isn’t it time? plus something about the whole situation feels like divine intervention.

malick sidibé

© Malick Sidibé, The whole family on a motorcycle, 1962, gelatin silver print, 50 x 60 cm. Courtesy of Fifty One Fine Art Photography

All images | © Malick Sidibé

Malick Sidibé, Christmas Eve, 1963, gelatin silver print, 50 x 60 cm. Courtesy of Fifty One Fine Art Photography.

(malick sidibé photos courtesy of griot and gallery fifty one)

well, you’re garbage so the rules aren’t the same for you

from roxanegay:

I am full of great advice and lofty standards for my friends. Do this, don’t put up with that. When it comes to myself, it’s like, well, you’re garbage so the rules aren’t the same for you. I get mad at myself when I realize this, when I realize how passive I can be, how I try to be invisible in my own life, how I try to not take up space or require anyone else’s attention or energy. Seriously, I am not a role model. I am 41 and I am basically a trainwreck. I am sitting on my sexy couch chewing ice. The ice is great. My teeth are like, “Girl, what is your fucking problem?”

deeper darker dew

the XXX version

my love for the jason bourne movies is well-known

new jason bourne movie in july!!!! will it be good, WHO CARES

background noise

ann-marie rayney, background noise, 2011

i speak for the lonely bitches

Photograph by Jonno Rattman for The New Yorker

LESLIE JONES! inspiration, from the new yorker:

She was forty-six, and had been a standup comedian for more than a quarter century; her peers respected her, but that respect rarely translated into high-paying gigs. “I remember some nights where I was, like, ‘All right, this comedy shit just ain’t working out,’ ” she told me recently. “And not just when I was twenty-five. Like, when I was forty-five.”

keep the faith mates. also:

One bullet that this opening takes away is speculation about Jones’s sexuality. She has never been married and has no children; much of her act these days is about trying to find a man. “I speak for the lonely bitches,” she said.

and  i just love this style:

we took a cab to the Comedy Cellar, in Greenwich Village. The booker, Estee Adoram, greeted Jones with a hug and implored her to perform, but she preferred to socialize. She walked past the comedian Judah Friedlander—he grabbed her arm and said, “Keep kicking ass”—and took a seat next to Larry Wilmore. At one point, the reactionary pundit Ann Coulter stopped by their table. Wilmore was courteous, but Jones leaned across the table and stage-whispered, “What the fuck is this frightening bitch doing here?” Coulter’s face froze in a rictus, and she soon backed away from the table.

some beautiful, large, workable plan pertaining to justice and history

hope from eileen myles about hillary and her plan:

In light of your concern for civil rights and the lives of black Americans since you were a kid and as the first female president I think you should be the first one to talk seriously about reparations to African-Americans. While thinking hard about the U.S. economy we should probably also try benefitting the lives of those whose free labor it is still based on. As America hurtles toward the abyss it is time for my candidate to try being expansive and make some beautiful, large, workable plan pertaining to justice and history and what you want to do.

Could anyone be named Hillary and not be bossy.

eileen myles on hillary clinton:

Lyndon Johnson I know for a fact was a great president. And I don’t mean by that he was a great man. He horrifically escalated the war in Vietnam. And he also got the civil rights bill passed and all the great society programs of the ’60s exist ‘cause of him because he was like a guy who loved to wheel and deal and he had a strong domestic agenda and there’s a romance about who Kennedy was, but Johnson did the thing and I think Hillary Clinton will be like that. I think she’s a leader. Could anyone be named Hillary and not be bossy.

fears

• crepey skin
• skid row