indifference as a weapon of upward mobility
Posted: March 20th, 2024 | Tags: Uncategorized | No Comments »this resonated for me — “on james gray” from fran magazine:
this resonated for me — “on james gray” from fran magazine:
i got petulant with ross last night because i feel like he has total freedom right now and i’m chainlocked by my mom and so i just had to rudely COMPLAIN for 15-30 minutes about it. my stepmom isn’t doing so well on oral chemo, and it’s just a heavy background weight, PLUS my mom wants to move to a new assisted living (ok but dreading process and reestablishing connections with all the medical folks there) OR maybe she’s going to move to new jersey (better but also dreading reestablishing all the infrastructure THERE and also is it fair to put that responsibility on my uncle and aunt and when can that level of move happen?!). i just want to drown my sorrows in fancy clothes and close my eyes (forever?).
courtesy of dreambabypress
but honestly if you know me i’m mostly happy in one room cozying up for life (plus a kitchen and a bathroom and ok maybe a sitting area) (but space…is not my desire)
FOR MY FRIENDS, FOREVER, AND FOR FRIENDS WHO HOST ME FOR SLEEPOVERS AT THEIR HOMES, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE HOTELS (WHICH I ALSO LOVE) (BUT BEING COZY AT A BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE, THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT)
it remains a miracle
oh man i am feeling the grind right now. just relentless grind, feeling so tired and so disappointed in people/the world/the news despite ryan gosling’s joyful “i’m just ken” performance and my new sweater. also our house is great but always a total wreck. frankie snapping at everyone. me maxing out with people. mom constantly sending sad texts. trying to find her a new place. trying to exercise / stretch / eat right / take vitamins / take care of skin. linda’s hemoglobin and platelet levels down. life is just a GRIND. how do you make peace with that. (haikus? opera?)
i am vibing on daphne javitch’s instagram
watched all of us strangers last night, liked it, love andrew scott, but what i really liked was this quote from the ny times review of it:
“I’ve always felt like a stranger in my own family,” Harry tells Adam, and once I was able to stop intellectualizing “All of Us Strangers,” the line hit me like a ton of bricks. I think it’s a sentiment more common than most of us admit, even to ourselves, even when we are surrounded by people who love us. We are, we know, strangers in our families and in our lives and our cities and our own bodies, and our life’s work is to move from the strange to something approaching the familiar.