on tantrums, matt sweeney, being motherfucked

just listened to the WTF interview with matt sweeney, highly recommend, matt played here last year with bonnie prince billy and he was hella charismatic. which i think comes through in the interview. i love how he talks about being on tour in new zealand and trying to get money from the atm and having -$25 in his account and realizing he was “motherfucked.” best term of 2015. so cheerful but also so explicit.

in other news, i had a huge tantrum last night, HUGE, hugest ever, with ross, poor ross, and it was exactly that moment that saipua refers to, am i actually going to do this, and even as you are thinking it, you are tipping over the edge and rolling down the mountain and being crushed to death [by your own undignified emotions]. anyway. so yes, was a big one. stormed out into the rain, even. [then had to meekly walk back soaking wet after 30 seconds.] cool. will calmness ever come to me. i think it had to with my arrival back in marfa, which tends to make me resentful, coupled with my open-ended future, relationship questions, dumb mammogram results, connie’s dad, etc. etc. i feel like ross can’t actually believe we are still talking about these things, they are so clear to him in his head, but i’m a freak and need constant affirmation and truthfully i am maybe motherfucked when it comes to self-esteem, relationships, learning in general.

BUT GUESS WHAT!!!!

i’m a godmother!!!!!

to levi merriman wu!!!!!!

do tantrum throwers deserve to be godparents? hell no but who can stop me. levi, prepare to be showered with presents, cool songs, squeezes, white sweatsuits.

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