why can’t i touch it

it’s all over! all the big events! today’s my first day off in at least 1.5 months! it’s the best!

two hundred things:

1. i was working with crush #1 a lot this week, and he rolled his eyes at me twice, and the second time, i was like, “hey! don’t roll your eyes at me! i think that’s kind of the rudest thing you can do to someone.” and he was like, “no, there are ruder things.” which made me laugh. but i was like, “well…i STILL think it’s rude.” and he was like, “don’t you find it endearing?” which also made me laugh. but mostly i still think it’s  rude.

2. on saturday night, i actually fast couple-danced with crush #1. i’ve never had this kind of crush where it’s like…entirely pleasurable, and not really heartachey. unless he’s rolling his eyes at me. that is a bit of a heartache.

3. crush #2! oh lord no. he’s called me or texted me every day since he’s moved to austin, but STILL freaks out if i’m enthusiastic in a text message. (see below.)

so yah, maybe i’m too enthusiastic. all those capital YESes. DUMB. but…like…isn’t he the one calling and texting me? inviting me to have coffees in austin? it’s very hard for me to gauge. and it bums me out. because i’m an enthusiastic person. and tamping it down is so crummy. but maybe i have to. or alternately, move him to the trash.

CRUSH #2! I’M ABOUT TO MAYBE MOVE YOU TO THE TRASH!

4. the DJ played this buzzcocks song on saturday night and i felt like it was the first time i’d ever heard it.