MESS STRAIGHT MESS

was soooooooooooooooooo blue and tender last night due to mom chaos and work and couldn’t wrangle myself to a better form so had sad argument with ross (argument not quite the right word — what’s fighting without fighting and/or one person [me] presenting silent wounded behavior?), which led to sleeplessness, which led to morning haggard appearance and general dismal outlook. tonight i have to rally and be in the homecoming parade and feel EXCITED and i also have to work this saturday at 8:30am and throw a sundae party at 3pm and be EXCITED and my heart is not in it. heart is tired. heart just wants to lie in bed. not even read or watch tv or read (times TWO). just literally lie in bed. also we have mice! very cool. sidenote: did you know that bobby fuller died mysteriously at age 23?! OK THERE ENDS ILLEGAL WORK BLOGGING

better than ever

“the basil” by kathryn cowles

etc

• rewatching only murders in the building and listen, it’s a VERY odd show and yet…still strangely comforting? who can explain it
• fell asleep twice while watching the new indiana jones BUT BUT BUT still enjoyed the parts i watched. my tastes are running towards comfort, almost exclusively
  
  THE REAL NEWS
  

without garlic

excellent comment from the (garlic-free) recipe for “pasta with fresh tomatoes and goat cheese”

have you ever seen such a thing

an actual growing cucumber, a miracle

mood

what’s it all about

i mean, really, what is it all about. had a two-day, head-exploding headache, think it had to do with food (?) (maybe? like allergies to foods? like macadamia nuts? bad strawberries? probably nonsense) or maybe work-life exhaustion (return to library, tons to do, two arguments with mom, two days in a row, unclear how to handle her, feel like giving up), and just — just honestly wanting to retire. to watch ken burns documentaries and read sci fi. but instead i need to do laundry and go grocery shopping and recycle and plan this library party and plan the future and figure out my mom write a grant and etc etc. ZZZZZZZZZZZ BLAH BLAH BLAH WASTED PERSON WASTE OF SPACE

Cloud Study (Early Evening)

evocative

recommend

revisiting rear window, highly recommend. photos courtesy of atlas of places.