we ate chicken tenders salad and then the bartender gave us free drinks

made out with a 24-year-old ashton-kutcher/jordan catellano lookalike on friday night. this brings the grand total of “dudes under 26 that i’ve kissed in the last year” up to five. seems like a pattern? possibly? maybe? youngies what is the deal? why am i drawn to you? why, more importantly, are you drawn to me? is it the chicken tender salad on my breath? do you spell it? i mean smell it? also do you spell it.