stewed tomatoes, part II

oh man i’m back to that stewed tomatoes feeling. serious ST. all i keep thinking about is how FLAWED i am (too sensitive, bad attitude, too regimented, short fuse, etc. etc.), and i’m like, oh wow i’m just a giant faker, and everyone will eventually realize it, and be like, “oh wait she’s just a dumb tomato. just a giant squishy FAKE stewed tomato.”

it started again because i was hanging out with some new friends, and someone asked me something, and i was like, “oh, no, that doesn’t bother me,” and she was like, “are you just perfect?” (not in a mean way, in a curious way), and i was like, “uh…NO…” and then had to catalogue all the things about me that are fucked up. or start to catalogue them. and then continue thinking about them on the walk home.

and now here we are in the ST marsh again.

to help squash the fake stewed tomato feeling, i’m posting “gold soundz.” i saw pavement play this 1000 years ago in san francisco. they did an encore and then left like a normal band and the fillmore turned the lights on but a very small band of diligent people stood at the front and chanted and chanted and chanted and THEY CAME BACK. PAVEMENT CAME BACK ONSTAGE EVEN THOUGH THE “GO HOME EVERYONE” LIGHTS WERE ON. and they played ANOTHER encore, for  that little band of diligent fans. which included me, and jonah, and alexa. in my mind they played “gold soundz” as part of the encore but i think it might have been the very first song they played at the show.

gold soundz

here’s to non-stewed tomatoes and the guitar part and being so drunk in the august sun and shaking it off or just learning to be ok with one’s essential fucked up nature.