i have great feelings of respect for you

here is my one and only experience with saying love words to a man (dave, pictured above):

JANUARY, 2001 (<-- TEN g.d. years ago)

ME: i think i might be sort of in love with you
DAVE: i have great feelings of respect for you

END SCENE

ouch. respect. amazing. even reading it makes my stomach hurt. both players, total idiots. me especially, because i was definitely NOT in love with that guy. i mean i thought i was, but mostly i was blinded by one three-hour late-night kissing session.

DUMB.

also i was thinking about how much i love punk rock, garage rock, loud rock, and why, and maybe this is apparent to everyone, and maybe it’s why EVERYONE loves rock & roll, but if it’s loud enough and messy enough, i’m totally taken out of my overthinking head and anxious heart and wet insides, and just in it.

which made me wonder: was rock actually invented for neurotics.