please give me back my three minutes

worst preview. worst title. chumpiest use of tom petty’s “don’t come around here no more.” scarlet johansson saying, “welcome to your zoo.” matt damon saying, “the sellers say you don’t even need any special knowledge to run a zoo, what you need is a lot of heart.” thomas haden church saying, “i like the animals, but i LOVE the humans.” everything designed to be heartwarming, but actually being BLOODCURDLING.

real estate agent: it’s a bit complicated.
matt damon: what’s so complicated about this place?
[LION ROAR]
real estate agent: it’s a zoo.

cameron you chumped me once with my right-after-the-screening positive rating of jerry maguire (later lowered to NEGATIVE TEN THOUSAND STARS after second viewing), but you will never have me again.