LOL that this is from something called The 9 smartest marriage tips ever but Stephanie Coontz only speaks the truth and cannot be denied.

I’m all about looking for the soft emotion in 2k14:

“One of my favorite pieces of advice come from an observation I once heard from two fellow Council on Contemporary Families board members, psychologist Philip and Carolyn Cowan,” Coontz tells me. ”They said to always look for the soft emotion that lies beneath the hard one.” She explains, “Since then I’ve tried to respond to the soft emotion — the fear, anxiety or embarrassment that is hiding behind the anger or accusation — rather than to the hard one. It helps in all sorts of relationships, not just marriage.”

(via aminatou! sow!)