spoiled rotten

Posted: August 20th, 2015 | No Comments »

look guys i’m spoiled rotten, let’s be honest. my mom showered me with presents for my birthdays and christmases and i learned this was NORMAL. anyway, just FYI for the future and my expectations.

in that vein, my friends threw a surprise party for me last night?


it was so kind. can’t even really talk about it because it felt like, WHAT? like having big bird pop out of your closet and sing to you but maybe not as terrifying as that sounds. but still disorienting and somewhat stressful. all my favorite people were there and they made me milkshakes (!) and had giant balloons spelling nicki (!!) and white wine (!!!) and presents (!!!!) and vegetarian foods (!!!!!). i forgot to eat due to anxiety but got to hold a baby and drink pink champagne and accidentally fed a baby some milkshake which later haunted me at 5am this morning, but the evening was a true kindness.

also update about that jennifer egan story, i was INTO it.

this hits a bit close to home:

The problem is, that kind of passivity tends to bleed out over the rest of your life. You are willing to wait and see where you’ll live, and wait and see whether you’ll ever have kids, and wait and see if you’ll ever find a better job, until eventually you forget that you have control over these outcomes and everything else in your life. You’ve become just another passenger on the bus.Who the fuck knows where it’s going?

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