i have been watching movies

i meant to post this a long time ago — one of allison wade’s break-up texts paintings (from her show “it’s not you”).

gently pat its behind

from “how to hold a stranger’s baby”:

‘‘Tell the baby your name, and say their name,’’ says Pat Rice, a psychologist who has been volunteering for 19 years as a ‘‘trained cuddler’’ in the neonatal intensive care unit at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford in Palo Alto, Calif. …

Try to avoid feeling self-conscious or attempting to impress nearby adults. ‘‘Be more consciously in your heart when you’re holding babies,’’ Rice says. … One of Rice’s go-to moves is to nestle a baby upright against his chest and gently pat its behind. ‘‘That seems to be almost magic,’’ he says.

on tantrums, matt sweeney, being motherfucked

just listened to the WTF interview with matt sweeney, highly recommend, matt played here last year with bonnie prince billy and he was hella charismatic. which i think comes through in the interview. i love how he talks about being on tour in new zealand and trying to get money from the atm and having -$25 in his account and realizing he was “motherfucked.” best term of 2015. so cheerful but also so explicit.

in other news, i had a huge tantrum last night, HUGE, hugest ever, with ross, poor ross, and it was exactly that moment that saipua refers to, am i actually going to do this, and even as you are thinking it, you are tipping over the edge and rolling down the mountain and being crushed to death [by your own undignified emotions]. anyway. so yes, was a big one. stormed out into the rain, even. [then had to meekly walk back soaking wet after 30 seconds.] cool. will calmness ever come to me. i think it had to with my arrival back in marfa, which tends to make me resentful, coupled with my open-ended future, relationship questions, dumb mammogram results, connie’s dad, etc. etc. i feel like ross can’t actually believe we are still talking about these things, they are so clear to him in his head, but i’m a freak and need constant affirmation and truthfully i am maybe motherfucked when it comes to self-esteem, relationships, learning in general.

BUT GUESS WHAT!!!!

i’m a godmother!!!!!

to levi merriman wu!!!!!!

do tantrum throwers deserve to be godparents? hell no but who can stop me. levi, prepare to be showered with presents, cool songs, squeezes, white sweatsuits.

UNRELATED GOOD SONG

halloween whopper

i am so into whoever is in charge of burger king’s marketing strategy.

tantrums

oh i can relate. from saipua:

Shortly after it came out I visited my parents who, in typical parental dilligence had read the comments online, and pointed out one from a negative-nancy type who wrote something about me throwing tantrums because I couldn’t have the flowers I wanted, when I wanted them. Which Eric and I now laugh about constantly, because IF ONLY she knew the sort of tantrums I throw. Always been a tantrum thrower. Like when I couldn’t go to the mall and I threatened to slit my wrists (parents ignoring me over coffee on the porch…I think I’ve told you that one) or whenever I lost in the family game of rummy. There’s a point in a tantrum of sudden clarity and self awareness, and edge of cliff sort of moment where you think — am I really going to let this out, the moment before the runaway effect.

that’s one reason

“Turtles are my favorite animals. Everybody runs over them on the highways and that’s why I want to kill everybody. That’s one reason I want to kill everybody.”