changes, endlessly

just got back from moving mom into her new assisted living, and need to write my notes to my read marfa kids, but i’m zonked and just feel like watching moonstruck (which i started with my parents last night, which was THE coziest watch). i’m happy/sad to be home, thinking about all the loose ends to tie up with my mom, discovered a crack in my phone over the weekend (wth), thinking about what i did wrong on my APL app, should i bail on being a children’s librarian and go for any librarian job, thinking about the beautiful rain in houston, how fluffy my hair got, how much FOOD (all caps) we ate, how the rain forced them to cancel our neil young show, how there’s no basketball on tonight, how good cher is in moonstruck, the endless change in our lives, in the city, in everything we do. maybe this is a middle age thing? because i don’t remember it being as heavy in the past, like i could float on a current and not worry too much (although of course i was constantly worrying then, too — about friends, about being single, about getting good grades, about being good at work, you name it). i know we all know that change is the only constant but SERIOUSLY it IS the only constant and there’s got to be something in embracing that. anyway i started this post with something in mind but now i can’t think of what it was.