a v boring update

Posted: May 27th, 2024 | Tags: Uncategorized | No Comments »

it’s memorial day weekend, and saturday i stayed in bed all day, and it was TRULY AWESOME. i watched mad max 2, slept a bunch, watched basketball (a disappointing game, tbh, but right now they’re all disappointing?). sunday, however, was one of those sloth days, i washed my hair but otherwise got nothing done while at the same time dreading all i had to do. was resistant to doing things and yet stressed by not doing them. classique fun combo. at the end of the day, i went to ross’s performance, which was v cool, then i walked the dogs to vance’s, and he came over for ice cream, so ultimately a mellow win. but not terribly productive. today was my DOING THINGS day and so far yes — did all my work i had to do (revise a flyer, draft and send an email, catch up on emails); write back to assisted living folks; write back to moving helpers; order bedding for mom; send update to mom’s friends*; now i’m doing laundry and about to make banana bread, and we MIGHT go see furiosa in alpine (but weirdly not excited this minute? even though i am excited about seeing it, but maybe not TODAY). anyway my main dumb constant question is: IS life complicated? i think it’s complicated but also that may be why i struggle so much and have constant migraines. how do i just zen out and not absorb all this dumb BS.

ps. RIP sweet bill walton.

*doing this made me a little depressed, because the friends had texted this morning to say they miss mom, but they’ve “backed off trying to get together” to help mom settle in to her new place. i was like, 🤔 ok…but friends and support and love are exactly…what she needs? anyway, still had to send them an update about mom, with all kinds of caveats, “if you have the interest/stamina,” “again, only if you are up for it.” basically letting everyone off the hook, because i know everyone is trying their best and everyone has so much on their plate and we ALL need a little grace, but it still felt disappointing, like gulping down something sad.

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