damn it’s real

been working at the library four years now and giving my 1000% and just realizing the mayor does not give one damn STILL, after all that. (all what? all the hours and stress and projects and creativity and etc etc?) have been protected by our city manager, which i sorta knew, but not to what extent. BIG EXTENT! he just does not care about the library, would be fine seeing it gone. another reason to scram (or is it another reason to stay?) — but just — it’s demoralizing (or is it a secret victory, keeping it going, despite opposition!). still feel like an outsider after 14 years. which i think is just such baloney! (but is it?) the concept of home, being from here, being an outsider, i GET it but also is it bullshit. (so says the interloper.)