i guess this might be depression

OK, my hard things are not that hard, but I do wanna say that being in a couple…can be hard (soft hard). maybe challenging is a better word. r and i are really not getting along these days, and it’s so sad. he’s frustrated by me being ~less than~ (stressed for two years, sickly, neurotic, no vacations except family obligations, etc etc). which i get. i mean yes, that is no picnic. opposite of picnic, actually. a dungeon. which makes me feel worse. but… what can i do? i’m honestly trying everything (loose use of the word “everything”): acupuncture, stretching, therapy, vitamins, mantras.

i guess i just feel a bit lost these days. like where is that old person. hardly remember what being a fun person feels like (if i ever was one). feel like everyone — especially ross — thinks I’m a debbie downer. which I guess i am?! (am i?) (I beg you to say no)