losing people

AKA dealing with death, the concept of death, post # 2500 million

i mean, just looking at photos of people that are gone (my mom, my aunt) and it’s just like _____________________. they were here and now they’re not. they had these lives, and now: ______________________. blankness. it’s hard to conceive completely, just going from something to nothing. like obviously i know they’re not here, and it’s not pressing on me every moment, but it’s just hard to wrap your mind around — the goneness. my friend monika sent me this book called the light between us — about a medium (!) — and she swears it will explain life, death, all of it, and offer me a lot of comfort. i’m reading it EXTREMELY slowly (and skeptically) (AND fearfully, if i’m being honest).