real talk

me today, trying to see photos on my super dark work computer, taken by coworker

real talk tonight with logan, where she suggested i quit my job, NO SECOND THOUGHTS. heart contracts in both excitement and fear. but what if this is just a pattern? what if i’m just someone who’s perpetually dissatisfied, what if i can never be happy? because isn’t my job so cool? (on paper? in real life?) only a fool wouldn’t love my job? people would die for my job? it’s so cool? (actually is so cool about 10% of the time?) is that enough? what do i want? do i want health insurance? do i want to be my own boss? do i want to write a book about donuts? (YES) do i want to be nervous about money? do i want to be nervous all the time? WHAT DO I WANT!!!!!!

things i like:

• glamour
• kids
• music
• drawing
• computer stuff sometimes
• talking to nice people
• having time
• having space
• having enough money
• taking it easy but being productive
• reading