this is really it

from ryan dowd:

It is easy to answer the question of what to do with “people who chose” homelessness.

There is a far harder (and far more important) question: “What do we do about people who struggle with profound mental health challenges?”

For several decades the answer has been “Ignore them and hope they go away.”

For reasons a five-year-old could figure out, that answer hasn’t worked very well.

Many countries are being forced to revisit the question.

Our answer to that question will impact everyone.

Obviously, people who are homeless will be impacted the most.

A brutal, Darwinist, everyone-for-themselves answer will erode our collective morality.

That will damage everyone.

I don’t think that is being overly dramatic.

How a community treats its most vulnerable has always been the clearest litmus test for morality.

cute pair

good lines

YOU ABSOLUTE HOBAG

in no particular order, the best of our California trip, July 2025, which was 100% perfect fantastic:

• the unknowable fathomless ocean
• fig leaf latte at quail and condor (and pictured croissant was a tomato chocolate croissant?! i wasn’t that into it but i’m all about the croissant exploration)
• gray skies
• remembering to use “best bakery in ______” to guide exploration
• chez panisse dinner extra awesome and charming, tomatoes and champagne and peaches, plus associated memories of past meals in other lives
• beautiful peaches
• beautiful strawberries
• beautiful tomatoes
• emily, a magical person giving magic to so so many
• best friends
• eating pancakes with best friends
• finally dancing to “levitating”
• manicure!!!!
• charming Berkeley
• sea ranch lodge — sitting in the window seat and watching the water — so beautiful
• the tile and low light in the sea ranch lodge bathroom
• skipping rocks at the Gualala River
• seeing alex and hazel after so so many years
• mary sue and bob’s sweet lil three-legged dog, pancho
• ross saying he had “the best avocado toast ever” at farley’s in the oakland airport — could it possibly be true?
• detouring to valley, emma’s restaurant in Sonoma, just on a wild proud-person whim, ross getting a bagel plate, me getting flowers and a pastry, and emma’s hilarious response to us coming to valley but not letting her know (“YOU ABSOLUTE HOBAG”) — perfection
• not throwing up on the plane!!!!

what a month

good things:

• tomato sandwiches
• the smell of lilies
• friends, family
• disneyworld with the littles
• california anticipation — wasn’t sure i’d be able to make it but just thinking about seeing friends and family and staying at the sea ranch lodge and going to eat at chez panisse has given me a great boost
• thinking about hybrid lexuses lol
• summer reading ending august 9, praise be, then can i rest?

not great things

• throwing up ON the plane, in ross’s tote bag
• throwing up IN the airport, in a busy corridor — possibly my lowest health moment?
• throwing up a million more times (but at least in a hotel room)

good pink

this got me

patronsaintofweepingmothers:

2009

(via cordjefferson)

(via laura olin)

leaving on a jet plane

pretty low

haha not exactly thriving right now — had HUGE fight with ross today, lotta anxiety about mom stuff (both her life and the logistics of shutting down a life), on top of extreme work overload because of summer, while also trying to understand life and death and what it all means — we just live and feel sad and then die? it just can’t be (or can it). but while talking to my uncle today, he said the kindest thing to me — “you’re not alone in this.” it sounds so simple but it was so bolstering.

found in mom’s papers 😭