amy

infinite waffling

back and forth, back and forth, feeling good, feeling sad, feeling like enough, feeling like a waster — is this just life? the endless waves. the ups and downs. lately feeling like the black sheep in my family because a) had (private) meltdown over this dumb bed delivery for my mom while in florida and had to tell everyone about the brouhaha because i was late to meet them all and i know most of them were like, geeeez, you freak b) feeling like my siblings think i’m not engaged enough in their lives c) didn’t play with the kids enough in florida ETC ETC BLAH BLAH BLAH. just always feeling like an endless tedious work in progress. but also like — what’s the opposite of progress.

but two good things:

1. learned how to make pizza dough! this is my recipe and i do think it’s a winner though this one is p stunning and you can make in one night, though it is more foccacia-y
2. wimbeldon on every day — been putting it on in the mornings for the dogs and i’m pretty sure they love it

you don’t look like you’ve lived next door to anyone

one more thing about donald sutherland — i loved him in everything i saw him in, especially invasion of the body snatchers and without limits, and found him to be, as matt zoller seitz says, “sexy as hell” — and loved this bit in his ny times obituary:

With his long face, droopy eyes, protruding ears and wolfish smile, the 6-foot-4 Mr. Sutherland was never anyone’s idea of a movie heartthrob. He often recalled that while growing up in eastern Canada, he once asked his mother if he was good-looking, only to be told, “No, but your face has a lot of character.” He recounted how he was once rejected for a film role by a producer who said: “This part calls for a guy-next-door type. You don’t look like you’ve lived next door to anyone.”

florida

i honestly would happily live in florida, it’s so beautiful and strange and even though the timing of our trip was hectic, it was still so lovely to be on the beach (even though the ocean was closed for two days because of storms). linda arranged a bonfire on our final night, and it was surprisingly awesome (as you know, i’m not a campfire fan). it was so lovely to be by the water and on the beach at night, hadn’t even considered how beautiful it would be. this is us riding the golf cart back to the condo, with glow sticks, kids on laps.

headaches, doritos, etc

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! headaches every day. woke up for first time this morning without a headache but then it came on later. is it all in me mind? i mean literally and physically?

in other news, got this bag of hot mustard doritos and was really hyped on them, but…wondering…maybe this is part of the headache problem?

donald sutherland was some kind of movie star

Nathanaëlle Herbelin

rather much

not sure where i took this stress quiz but i think it about got to the heart of it

a bit of a mood

okay, tell me EVERYTHING

this was a good loves/hates list, especially 8-10.