is it possible

…that my right foot is growing, exponentially? it’s definitely longer and always hurts. also i’m watching jake gyllenhaal’s presumed innocent and…meh? but meh in a fine way. i devoured the book in high school (it’s really kinda great), but i can’t remember the storyline, except who did it. amazing ending. anyway jake is way too buff to play this character. PRINT IT

UPDATE: I didn’t finish watching presumed innocent, it was driving me crazy, no one worth anything, and the plot twist (I read about it) was terrible — all in all a pointless exercise, i’m sorry

it me

i really am grateful for gifs!

THE END

not just on the jubilation of freedom

loved this description of the juneteenth holiday, from representative sheila jackson lee’s obituary (bolding my own):

Ms. Jackson Lee was the author and lead sponsor of the legislation that in 2021 established Juneteenth — commemorating the day in 1865 when the last slaves in Texas finally learned of their freedom — as the first new federal holiday in 38 years.

“I thought it was extremely important,” she said on CNN in 2022 “to pass a federal holiday that would give America a moment to be able to reflect not just on the jubilation of freedom, but also the brutality of slavery and what it meant to human beings.”

my kind of pasta

*though not sure why they put magnet in quotes

brain stuffed but empty

but grateful for:

• friends
• family
• thoughtful political podcasts
• rye bread
• gifs
• hanging out with nieces and nephews
• perfect double feature with ross on a friday night
• not falling asleep during said double feature!!!! a miracle (thank you diet coke? thank you jason statham?)
• dreaming about birthday presents
• making birthday present lists
• buying stuff as distraction (OK OK I KNOW THIS IS BAD)
• ice cream sandwiches
• pavlovas – someone make these all the time please so that i can just get used to them and not be like AW-OOGA when they make an appearance in my life

not grateful for:

• work meetings on a sunday, even if it’s fun
• feeling entirely drained
• how dry it is in marfa
• headaches
• jaw ache
• dogs pooping indoors
• thinking about facelifts, what a d-r-a-g
• spelling bee (ugh why can’t i quit this)

no such thing as a bad walk (in the rain)

amy

infinite waffling

back and forth, back and forth, feeling good, feeling sad, feeling like enough, feeling like a waster — is this just life? the endless waves. the ups and downs. lately feeling like the black sheep in my family because a) had (private) meltdown over this dumb bed delivery for my mom while in florida and had to tell everyone about the brouhaha because i was late to meet them all and i know most of them were like, geeeez, you freak b) feeling like my siblings think i’m not engaged enough in their lives c) didn’t play with the kids enough in florida ETC ETC BLAH BLAH BLAH. just always feeling like an endless tedious work in progress. but also like — what’s the opposite of progress.

but two good things:

1. learned how to make pizza dough! this is my recipe and i do think it’s a winner though this one is p stunning and you can make in one night, though it is more foccacia-y
2. wimbeldon on every day — been putting it on in the mornings for the dogs and i’m pretty sure they love it

you don’t look like you’ve lived next door to anyone

one more thing about donald sutherland — i loved him in everything i saw him in, especially invasion of the body snatchers and without limits, and found him to be, as matt zoller seitz says, “sexy as hell” — and loved this bit in his ny times obituary:

With his long face, droopy eyes, protruding ears and wolfish smile, the 6-foot-4 Mr. Sutherland was never anyone’s idea of a movie heartthrob. He often recalled that while growing up in eastern Canada, he once asked his mother if he was good-looking, only to be told, “No, but your face has a lot of character.” He recounted how he was once rejected for a film role by a producer who said: “This part calls for a guy-next-door type. You don’t look like you’ve lived next door to anyone.”