listen

kim addonizio, “To the Woman Crying Uncontrollably in the Next Stall,” via mmqalit

hodge podge

• continued my USPS stamps tear and ordered these beautiful ruth asawa stamps. at this rate, i’ll have stamps until i die.
• yes to maira kalman (“My two favorite times of the day are getting into bed at night and getting out of bed in the morning”)
• i’m frustrated with this $600 unemployment bonus debate — shouldn’t the fact that people are making more on unemployment be ringing some alarm bells? i mean THAT’S what’s broken, not these extra payments — the fact that people aren’t really making living wages when working reg jobs, amirite?

ok california you are great! too cold, but still great

ok, let’s be real, california has some THINGS:

• great people
• flowers
• cows
• the redwoods
• great salads
• an appreciation for beauty in the everyday
• croissants in plenitude (though didn’t strike croissant gold this time)
• impossible produce — just like — beautiful AND delicious. it has the power to flip me into being a fruit person. i mean i bought grapes once i got home, because i was so inspired. and made a very C+ smoothie this morning!
• legal marijuana, still WHOA
• (seemingly) good politics (though can we get justice for kevin cooper?)

IS CALIFORNIA PARADISE???????

just got back from the most beautiful four days in california. is california actually paradise? very tricky, right? i get suckered by the peaches, excellent produce, beautiful views, so many trees, the sunlight, water restrictions, good governance, the casual possibility of kayaking. highlights:

• walking at twilight to chez panisse cafe with dan
• seeing the very first peet’s (!!!!!!)
• buying mad cheese at the cheeseboard
• cheese cheese so much cheese
• salads, everywhere
• seeing dan’s parents
• the most precious wild tiny strawberries
• the sweetest rehearsal dinner in boonville
• sharing a hotel room with dan and matt
• dancing with dan to “to love somebody” by nina simone at evans’s reception
• dan doing the bicycle in the corner of the dancefloor
• dom perignon rose at evans’s wedding (first taste of dom perignon! oh ma lord)
• the merriman/wu family
• marin airporter — so civilized
• coffee + croissants
• the view from the airbnb in kentfield
• steam room at the cavallo point spa
• the hot tub at cavallo point
• the marin county farmer’s market and the not-bad children’s music CD we bought for levi
• sleeping the latest (8:15am!) at our airbnb — old lady sleep person!!! how can it be?
• wearing leis at dinner for carolyn
• amos + levi
• TOO MUCH OTHER COOL STUFF TO EVEN GET INTO IT

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second, a word about new york

a good new york trip (tho heavy emz for 1-2 days). highlights:

1. tv in my bedroom!
2. delicious coffee with dan every morning
3. early morning chill time with amos
4. manicure with berry
5. rosa being so awesome, whiskey with rosa, rosa helping with the event
6. all those nice friends coming to the show
7. delicious queens diner breakfast with thu and john, oh the potatoes!
8. successful meetings (“i’m a real worker”)
9. sitting in wrong movie theater with greg
10. after party with greg and his filmmaker friend who wanted to keep talking to us (greg hated it, but i loved it, this never happens in marfa, we all know everyone, such a treat to be elusive/mysterious/unfamiliar/unknown and be able to LEAVE without any repercussions)
11. late night buvette dinner/ fake french waiter / all fake french waiters / chocolate mousse (why not)
12. all day saturday free / evans stops by / in pajamas till 2 pm / coffee in triplicate / dinner party shopping / spraying monocle perfume at bird / restraining all shopping tendencies
13. champagne
14. dinner party with old friends

back back back, but am i permanently back?

guys! i’m back! maybe even permanently!

a lot has happened since my last post. i can’t even begin to detail the things that have happened. actually i can. they include:

1. three years going by
2. quitting yahoo!
3. moving to portland for 2.5 years and really liking it
4. dating a dummy
5. swimming in the mediterranean
6. my stepdad dying
7. making my zine
8. moving to marfa

ETC. ETC.

maybe my next blog post will list EVERYTHING that happened in the three years since i last posted. but guessing that will not happen. but the thing is, what i’m saying here is: i’m back to blogging. it sounds ridiculous but seriously folks: i live in marfa now, and i want to document it.

wearing ridiculous outfit

today i’m wearing a pair of ridiculously terrible pants. they could’ve been better, with the right shoes, or right shirt, with just a little thought put into them, but instead i wore them with perhaps my weirdest shirt and definitely my weirdest shoes (the toning sneakers). so it’s like weird + weird + weird = really weird outfit. i fortunately brought a pair of ballet flats as back-up, so i took off the weird sneakers, but the jeans are way too long for those, so i have to fold the them up inside my pant leg, which makes things only marginally better. i also replaced the shirt with a shirt i found in my work drawer, which i once took off in a fit of “this shirt sucks,” but it’s better than the current one, so there you go.

last night i woke up at 11:45pm and then again at 4am. my heart was beating about work and inhaling spiders up my nose and i couldn’t go back to sleep till 5am.

alarm went off at 5:20am.

awesome.

welcome back, coke zero

at the beginning of the year, i decided to stop drinking diet sodas. bad for your neurons, liquid cancer, “if there’s one thing you do,” blah blah blah. but after a 1.5 months off the stuff, which was, admittedly, not hard to do, i found that i was eating more bad things as a replacement for the diet cokes. and getting rather plump. which is way worse, IMHO, than losing neurons. i mean, who needs neurons? will neurons find you a husband?

so you’ll be happy to know, coke zeros shall be injected back into my life, starting today.

also here’s a list of “things i don’t mind”:

coach buses
vitamins
my mouthguard

and a few new things for my “things i love” list:

flying the redeye
the austin airport
austin
open houses that make you take off your shoes and then say, “don’t worry about taking off your shoes”
talking about slitting throats

and a new list called “things i thought i liked but actually maybe i don’t like anymore because they make me feel sick”:

bailey’s irish cream

what happened, bailey’s? we were such fond friends at prom.

lists

girl, i am about to go OFF on making lists. first list: all my favorite things that happened this year. it’s going to be a looooong list. like really long. like gutenberg-bible-style long.

i was also going to make a list of my favorite people, but realized that list pretty much stays the same each year, and it’s just the newcomers that merit pointing out, so then it becomes a “new people that are starting to become some of my favorite people” list, and that seems like a boring list.

but back to my “things i hate” list:

the sounds that garbage trucks make

i know i would be sad if there were no more garbage trucks, and whenever i’m walking to BART at 6am and pass one, i’m like, “god’s blessings on you,” but sitting here on my couch, or lying in my bed, and hearing the brrr-brrr-brrang and beep-beep-beep sounds make me feel like tearing off my own head. or like someone is sliding a knife very gently underneath my skin.

sweating it

two things that are awesome: beyonce’s “irreplaceable” and emailing with someone that you’re sweating.

are crushes real or fake? i think they are fake. i am answering my own question. they are fake. because you only know this awesome outer layer, and not the real human person. especially when the outer layer has a girlfriend, it’s especially fake. and when the outer layer has a girlfriend, lives in another city, and only occasionally writes you back, it’s especially totally TOTALLY fake.