isabella

related to this (twofold)

from Miranda July’s newsletter (can’t 100% endorse but also it does speak to me):

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I’m always trying to ESCAPE, tempted by freedom and no rules and maybe even more importantly — no expectations? this is fading as I get older but just — the idea of having no commitments / responsibilities / stakes in the ground is alluring (but also the opposite, too, of what I want!). I feel so bad for ross because I was completely fritzed these past three years with my mom and was only seeking rest and comfort when I wasn’t caretaking and now am trying to repair and get back into my body and my brain and find out how to live again? because I still 99% want to rest. but he’s ready to GO and wondering, hey that big burden is gone, can’t we party/go back to the old ways? and i feel like I’ve lost sight of / lost my understanding of how to live exactly.

so anyyyyyyyway — but — I am alive!!!!

good fit

good (kitchen) couch

sundaaaaays

only have one day off this week and i am FULLY taking advantage of it, as in, i am still in bed at 1:41pm and watching the knicks game (half time show featuring christmas rockettes, no complaints). about to write some thank you notes but in the meantime i’m catching up on laura olin newsletters (this is p cool). some things:

• watched the mr. scorsese mini-series, it was great. a lot of thoughts but mostly just cool to see how time CAN soften you (personally at least). also prompted watching casino for the first time.
• did i say how nice thanksgiving was? it was so nice. my dessert order for the big day was a bit of a fail but whatever. loved seeing everyone, loved watching christmas movies, loved seeing wicked: for good at the alamo with the merrimans, loved eating banana pudding during the movie, loved watching mulholland drive with john and nancy, loved hanging with the merriman-wus on sunday morning. all loved. the hotel was actually kind of good for me!
• decorating a REAL christmas tree — what a pleasure. next up: NOG

cy

Cy Twombly, Some Trees of Italy, 1974, courtesy of Laura Olin

important update on ken burns

ok hot tip i’m driving to austin and ~LISTENING~ to ken burns’s american revolution and it’s thrilling and depressing and inspiring and dispiriting and just a reminder that even geniuses are a mix of incredible and horrible and that every single thing is so complex and fucked up, even the good things. building this (dream?) republic based on (theoretical) equality is so revolutionary but the native americans and black people get absolutely effed in every way. but anyway i was honestly thinking I want to go on an am rev tour some day [any takers?] and thomas paine is kind of my new hero. MORE TO COME

who am i kidding

watching ken burns’s american revolution and a) I keep accidentally immediately falling asleep and b) sadly i’m 85% sure I’d have been a loyalist

constant mood

a 12!

from The NY Times:

After the meeting, [Donald] Trump called Xi a “tough negotiator.” Still, Trump seemed to be happy with the outcome. On a scale of one to 10, he said he would rate his meeting with Xi a 12.