Posted: March 13th, 2011 | No Comments »

first, this is a crackup (scroll down to the “in other news” section):

If there is one word that describes my prevailing feeling about “all this” “right now” it is the word “UGH.”

second, here’s someone who’s terrible at goodbyes: ME. so terrible. the worst. can i blame my parents for getting divorced and the awkwardness of seeing one’s father once at a week and having to inject and then eject myself from his routine every week? YES. sorry parents.

ross and i met in junction last night and today went tubing (?!) (in march?!), which was a super blast, and after lunch, we were heading our separate ways, and he’s pretty nonchalant about the goodbyes, very “fun time, see ya,” which is good and normal, but i’m all messed up about saying goodbye, and feel very tender, and a strange mix of weepy and cold. like so close to this person but protectively wanting to get as much distance as possible. in fact, today, i just was like, “ok, see you,” and didn’t get out of the car to say goodbye, and yet started quietly crying while sitting in said car.


he was super nice about it, but all in all, a complicated way to say i’m in love with you, i had a great time, thanks for dinner last night, see you in 12 days.



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