grateful for

COFFEE CHOPS
i mean coffee shops

indifference as a weapon of upward mobility

this resonated for me — “on james gray” from fran magazine:

just don’t even know how to feel right now

i got petulant with ross last night because i feel like he has total freedom right now and i’m chainlocked by my mom and so i just had to rudely COMPLAIN for 15-30 minutes about it. my stepmom isn’t doing so well on oral chemo, and it’s just a heavy background weight, PLUS my mom wants to move to a new assisted living (ok but dreading process and reestablishing connections with all the medical folks there) OR maybe she’s going to move to new jersey (better but also dreading reestablishing all the infrastructure THERE and also is it fair to put that responsibility on my uncle and aunt and when can that level of move happen?!). i just want to drown my sorrows in fancy clothes and close my eyes (forever?).

these love/hate lists are p. good

courtesy of dreambabypress

vibing on this sentiment

but honestly if you know me i’m mostly happy in one room cozying up for life (plus a kitchen and a bathroom and ok maybe a sitting area) (but space…is not my desire)

really just grateful

FOR MY FRIENDS, FOREVER, AND FOR FRIENDS WHO HOST ME FOR SLEEPOVERS AT THEIR HOMES, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE HOTELS (WHICH I ALSO LOVE) (BUT BEING COZY AT A BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE, THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT)

peach tree blooming

it remains a miracle

three good things

• watching nyad on a whim and really enjoying it! recommend, highly!
• getting a true date night with ross last night — takeout thai food in alpine and watched unforgiven (i’d never seen it)
• my new migraine prescription?

the grind

oh man i am feeling the grind right now. just relentless grind, feeling so tired and so disappointed in people/the world/the news despite ryan gosling’s joyful “i’m just ken” performance and my new sweater. also our house is great but always a total wreck. frankie snapping at everyone. me maxing out with people. mom constantly sending sad texts. trying to find her a new place. trying to exercise / stretch / eat right / take vitamins / take care of skin. linda’s hemoglobin and platelet levels down. life is just a GRIND. how do you make peace with that. (haikus? opera?)

hate to say this but

i am vibing on daphne javitch’s instagram