been watching the second season of loki, and honestly i don’t understand the storyline and only vaguely remember what happened in season 1, but the cast and the production design are SO good that i’m giving it an A+. i even love the title credits!
ps this clip is great, tried to embed but couldn’t (for now).
today was a doozy. have never felt so threadbare. really gotta serenity now BIG TIME.
UPDATE: incredibly today was worse!!!! how can it be? every day getting texts, phone calls from mom’s caretakers, trying to keep up with her appointments, her blowing them off or showing up 30 minutes late, getting falling down drunk as soon as my uncle leaves. alcoholism — even on this low-key level (whatever low-key means) is just so bleak. going to my first al-anon meeting thursday (nervous)
UPDATE 2: did not go to the al-anon meeting :/
I loved this Daily interview with Dave Hondula, the Director of Heat Response and Mitigation for the city of Phoenix, “the country’s first publicly funded office in city government working on heat”:
Barbaro: …All of which is to say that being the Chief Heat Officer at a place like Phoenix means coming up with great ideas and realizing that they’re very hard to pull off within the bureaucracy, and rules, and realities of a city government.
Hondula: And I would argue it means being a little persistent and being willing to try to ruffle some feathers a little bit, but through those experiences, we’ve generated a little saying among our team. The heat office wasn’t created to maintain the status quo. So all of those rules, processes, institutional memories that you referenced, in some cases I see it as our job to try to shake those up a little bit…
The Man Trying to Save Phoenix From Historic Heat
trying to remember this perspective from psychedelics researcher Roland Griffiths, who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer:
I want everyone to appreciate the joy and wonder of every single moment of their lives. There is a reason every day to celebrate that we’re alive, that we have another day to explore whatever this gift is of being conscious, of being aware, of being aware that we are aware. That’s to be celebrated!
“A Psychedelics Pioneer Takes the Ultimate Trip” by David Marchese
also this: “‘We all know that we’re terminal,’ says Griffiths … ‘So I believe that in principle we shouldn’t need this Stage 4 cancer diagnosis to awaken. I’m excited to communicate, to shake the bars and tell people, ‘Come on, let’s wake up!’ ‘
trying to embrace this motto but man. i have a lot empathy for my mom and her situation but she definitely isn’t interested in just letting me take the wheel. or IS, but also isn’t. very comfortable with me doing everything but then stepping in and protesting / canceling / changing plans. there are so many things to manage (her appointments, her meds, her caretakers, her doctors, her future living situation) and it is giving me a heart attack. ross says not to call her so much and maybe that is the answer?
loved this interview with martin scorsese in GQ:
I’d mumbled some questions about how he [Scorsese] might yet use his time. Make one last great thing? Get right with God? But what Scorsese said was, basically, there is no resolution. There is just, well—you. “I don’t think it’s a matter of one last great thing,” he told me. “It’s a matter of continuing, exploring. Getting right with God, that’s always the case. You’re in the process of it. It becomes more evident as you age that you may not have the time. So it is a matter of dealing with that aspect of it every day. It’s who you’re dealing with, how you’re dealing with them, the best way you can. When you say, ‘Get right with God,’ do you think it’s a matter of learning the mystery of life? I don’t see how you can get the answer to this. You’re not going to get any. Is it a matter of expiration of guilt? Probably won’t happen. But that doesn’t matter because it’s who you are anyway. You’ve got to learn to live with it. And so the thing is, when it hits you, to say: ‘That’s me again. That’s that ache again right over here. All right, let’s move on. Oh, he hit me in the head here, didn’t he? Oh goodness. All right, let’s do it. Oh, there’s that same old problem you had 50 years ago. It’s coming back up.’ ”
“Martin Scorsese: “I Have To Find Out Who The Hell I Am.” by Zach Baron
today is my last day in houston for at least a week (or so i hope, who can count on anything these days). i lost my computer charger in all the back and forths from hospitals to homes to hospitals so hence the silence. the only good thing about this journey was getting to spend time with dad and linda and braxton, i never lived with them growing up and it’s been so nourishing and comforting. like a real family. also i drank a smoothie EVERY day, which has been a great pleasure, though sadly i think i may have burned myself out for awhile. i still will be getting one today (and tomorrow). nutrition is REAL.
in depressing news, when leaving the hospital last week, i saw this in the hospital parking garage and could not have been more shook. who would do such a thing to someone visiting the hospital? how does one do such a thing in the middle of a crowded lot? i had to take multiple photos because i was in disbelief. the lug nuts strewn about. the longhorn alumni status. the regular-ness of the car. the rocks thrown under. what a world.
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